Quick question: Does wanting to end child abuse make you a Communist? Let me explain…
My husband sent me THIS LINK from Face Book that has a video about not physically or emotionally abusing your children. It’s based on the premise that parents who yell and hit have children who yell and hit. It is originally from this website: Children See, Children Learn. I am glad to have another resource to add to my list of organizations who are in line with the Vision and Mission of 153Promise.
Again, like yesterday’s post, I began reading the comments. (Warning: it could ruin your day.)
People got SO ANGRY from watching an anti-parental bullying PSA! They defend hitting their child, say that’s why we have brats is due to lack of spanking, and then it degrades into a political debate…
People post the quantum leap that videos like this are the work of the Liberals/Socialists/Communists in the US of A. They started making comparisons to totally unrelated issues like gun control and fighting in the Middle East.
Then, I noticed a trend… the ones who were upset MOST at this video were the ones who were spanked as a kid and who defend spanking their own kids! That legacy is the EXACT TREND the PSA is trying to end!
Perhaps if those negative posters were shown more L.O.V.E. as a child, they would not be so miserable today.
If my commitment to raise my child in a trauma-free environment makes me a Liberal, then so be it. I will LOVE my children liberally. I will liberally shower my children with kisses and hugs.
Make it your #153Promise to join the TFPP- Trauma-Free Parenting Party, no matter what your political affiliation!
-Kisses! XxXx
A "Trauma-Free Parenting" Initiative 
Child abuse needs to end, yes. Spanking your child however is not child abuse.
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I know many people feel that way and understand people’s reasoning. However, IF spanking is effective, it’s because the child wants to avoid further spanking; therefore, it is perceived as a negative… so, in the end, the child learns that physical means of behavior modification is acceptable. I personally disagree with this approach. I’d rather praise for good and education about negative through love; not fear and intimidation.
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Spanking isn’t used to cause fear or intimidation. The child will understand the reason why she is being spanked, as the parent either leads or follows the spanking by talking about why they did.
Child abuse is done in anger. Spanking generally is done in love, and the parent is in full control of their emotions. They’re not screaming at the child while unnecessarily hitting them. Being grounded is negative, being sent to a corner is negative. Discipline in general is perceived to be negative by the child- because punishment in any form a kid wants to avoid. And sometimes a swat on the butt helps a child remember “hey if I run across the street by myself I’m going to be in trouble.”
I don’t advocate spanking for every single misbehavior or as the go to for discipline. But I also will not equate it to child abuse or judge a parent who does it.
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I understand that perspective… I just feel the same thing can be accomplished without the swat. Why not just do the talk without the swat?
I’m not suggesting this is you, but many people use the defense that spanking is very controlled. But the times I’ve seen it done, the parent was NOT calm; they were reacting with frustration once a kid was out of control. So they’re just trumping one bad thing with another bad thing.
Again, I do see your perspective. I just choose not to go that route.
I was more upset about the negative comments from that video in my OP- not about the issue of “to spank or not to spank.”
Thanks for the interesting exchange of ideas!
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I guess my experience with spanking has been different. I’ve only seen it done with the parent in control, before they get angry and react out of frustration. But I’m sure it does happen with frustrated parents and one should never hit or spank a child in frustration.
Honestly a talk might not remain in their thoughts very long. My sister once tried to throw a temper tantrum. My mom spanked her and she never did it again. Would a talk have worked as well? I don’t know…
I’ve received a lot of judgment from people who don’t believe in spanking and honestly, it gets old. I’m not judging anyone who choose not to spank. Parenting is hard enough without others telling you you’re an abuser or wrong because you spank. This didn’t really come across that way, but I still felt I should say something because the title suggested spanking is child abuse.
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I could see how you thought so. My title (in my mind, anyway) was more about the emotional abuse from the yelling and insults. And I was more discouraged about the comments made about liberals and spoiled brats… I’m glad we can open up a dialogue in a mature way… WordPress seems to be a lot better than FB in that respect! 👍
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