The Words “Next Month” Gives Me Chutzpah!

Notebook, Fountain Pens, Pen, Notes, To Write, Office

I’ve been a lot more vocal, bold… brazen, even… when it comes to getting the word out regarding my book, “One Million Kisses.”

I’m a lot more courageous now that I can say, “I have a book coming out next month.”

I’ve been keeping a (albeit loose) journal on the progress here.

Please stop by to read about my most recent updates.  For a while, it was the “Hurry up and wait” approach, but I think it’s going to increase with some speed now that the hard copies are just weeks away.

Make it your #153Promise to keep checking back to find out when you can finally get your hands on this little labor of love.

-Kisses! XxXx

Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole

Sad, Learning, School, Reading, Challenging

The last hour of the Stress Workshop I attended was supposed to be a Q and A about how to best address stress with you children once it rears its ugly head.  I was looking forward to learning some tips and maybe even some proactive strategies.  It didn’t happen.

Instead, these were some of the questions that parents asked:

  • How can I get my kid to hand in her homework?
  • Why won’t my kid do his homework?
  • How can I get my kids to listen to me?
  • Why won’t my kid do his chores?

You see the pattern?  These weren’t actual open ended questions about how to HELP their kids; these were actually complaints disguised as questions.

Continue reading “Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole”

Managing Stress: It’s a Continuum

This is the third installment on my series of notes from the Stress Workshop I attended last week hosted by our school district…

Once the speaker, psychologist Lou Bevilacqua, defined stress and who gets it, he gave some basic tips on what to do.

Angry Man, Point, Finger, India, AngryFirst, he said the following strategies do NOT work:

  • yelling
  • threatening
  • shutting down
  • melting down
  • lecturing
  • bribing
  • blackmailing
  • nagging

and finally,

  • ignoring
  • invalidating

Continue reading “Managing Stress: It’s a Continuum”

Defining Stress, Part Two: Finding Clarity

Once the audience’s participation died down, Dr. Bevilacqua brought some clarity to the idea of stress- what it is, what causes it and who is prone to suffer from it.

First, he echoed that yes, there are many things that can trigger a reaction through the day.  But it morphs into “stress” by meeting several criteria:

  1. intensity
  2. duration
  3. affecting our ability to be productive

That means that while some things may cause discomfort at the moment, it may not actually develop into stress.
Panic, Shout, PeopleIs a trip to the dentist stressful, or just not enjoyable?  It becomes “stress” only if the effects of anticipating the visit are over a prolonged period of time and get in the way of other activities.

How about a child’s test?  If they are concerned about the test, study, get a little nervous right before, take it, and then go about the rest of the day, then it’s inaccurate to label it as “stress.”  But if they constantly worry about that class, get ‘sick’ in order to avoid taking the test and can’t go to rehearsal or practice for another activity due to that event, then yes… it’s stress.

Continue reading “Defining Stress, Part Two: Finding Clarity”

Defining Stress

That was the first question Dr. Bevilaqua addressed last Wednesday.

Cry, Zoom, Effect, Stress, Angry, Hustle And Bustle

A volunteer from the audience wrote down the responses that were brainstormed by the audience.  A variety of responses abounded:

  • feeling out of control
  • feeling helpless
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • pressure
  • anxiety/fear
  • too much to do and not enough time to do it
  • high expectations
  • high stakes
  • the “fight or flight” response (he told us “they” also have added “freeze”)
  • fear
  • the body’s response to a perceived threat  (that was mine!)

The list was much longer, but they started to morph into manifestations like:

  • headaches
  • stomach aches
  • school avoidance
  • irritability
  • sleeplessness
  • negative self talk
  • obsession/perseverating
  • catastrophizing
  • projecting

Continue reading “Defining Stress”