Tag: career

Trust the Teachers: Another Way to Love Your Kids

On By JenniferOzgurIn Parenting, School, ValidationLeave a comment

Education, School, Back To SchoolNow’s the time to select courses for next year.  Placing your child in the correct classes is a very important decision and can set the stage for either a pleasant year, or a stressful one.

You child’s teachers have been monitoring their progress since September.  They know the strengths and weaknesses of your child and also know about the requirements of the courses for next year.

If your child is doing well this year, that’s not necessarily an indication that they should be ‘bumped up’ a level.  Unless they are making high As and say they want more of a challenge, you may be setting up your child to be stretched too thin next year.

Conversely, if you have a student who’s been struggling all year, you may want to ask the teacher’s opinion about actually dropping down a level.  There’s no shame in admitting that your child is in over their head.

If your child is going into or currently in high school, I’d also take your child’s desires into consideration when planning for post graduation.  Do not automatically assume they are going into college.  If they are not self motivated and/or do not like school or reading, then they very likely will not see the value in getting up to go to classes, preparing for them, writing the papers and studying for the few tests they will have.  You may want to discuss career options that include technical training.  They may be able to learn skills that give them the chance to get a career with opportunity for growth in a field they enjoy.

Think about the years 18-22: would you rather pay for tuition where they’re barely passing, or have them make their own money, learn independence, and feel pride that they are making a wage doing honorable work?

Book, Bored, College, Education, FemaleAn education should be to discover what your child can learn and achieve- not what they can’t do.  You may ‘know’ your child, but in this area, their teachers know more.  You may see them doing their work at home, but if the teacher records zeros for assignments not handed in, your child may be sending you a coded message.  They may be in their room ‘studying’ all night, but if they are not testing well, have you quizzed them on the material the night before to make sure they knew the content?

True, every child deserves opportunities.  But if a teacher thinks the child is truly not at the point of readiness for a certain step in their education, then the opportunity you may actually be providing is to set them up for failure.

Birger Kollmeier, Professor, Blackboard

Please keep your own ego and motivation in check if you are considering overriding either your child or their teacher’s thoughts regarding class selection for next year.

Make it your #153Promise to trust the teachers to know what’s best regarding your child’s scholastic abilities to give your child every opportunity to succeed.

-Kisses! XxXx

 

 

Thaw Out Your Kids By Lining Up a Summer Job!

On By JenniferOzgurIn ParentingLeave a comment

Ice, Ice Age, Icicle, Winter, Cold, Snow

Everybody on the East Coast is talking about how flippin’ cold it’s going to be this three day weekend.  Freezing or not, what better time to start thinking about plans for this summer!

Taking on a job or volunteering position is an excellent way to teach responsibility and learn about what possible career topics they are considering; it gets your teenager thinking about their future…. Just at the time they are consider what courses they’ll be taking for next year.  And doing it now — before the mad rush in June — is an excellent lesson in preparing and not procrastinating… not to mention that they’ll have many more choices available to them.

Friends, Summer Camp, Leaders, MentorsIf your child is over 18, then they are an adult and can apply pretty much anywhere, as long as they meet the job description requirements.

If they are under 14, they are generally too young to be getting a “real” job with an actual employer.

But those three years in between get a little tricky.  Every state has their own child labor laws.  Some deal with dangerous situations, like knives.  Some deal with food preparation or the presence of alcohol.  Others regulate manual work, such as pounds required to lift.

Looking for ideas?  Try:

  • The mall- ones stop shopping for tons of options
  • The YMCA- they have a lot of programming and camps
  • The library- a great, safe environment
  • Pools- if they’re a swimmer, there’s time to get a junior life guard certification
  • Babysitting- there’s an online course offered by the Red Cross

 

If you can’t commit to putting your teenager on a set schedule because you want a flexible schedule, volunteering is also a great option…. And if your child is under working age, maybe it’s time to start planning your family vacation!

No matter what you decide, make it your #153Promise to set your child up for an awesome summer. Coffee, Mug, Winter, Drink, Coffee Mug

Goodness knows we need something to get us through the next few months!

-Kisses! XxXx

 

Self Esteem is NOT Vanity

On By JenniferOzgurIn Love, RelationshipsLeave a comment

Recently, I was helping someone write their response for an application regarding their career path.  The prompt was to talk about themselves in a way that was otherwise not reflected in their application.  This person kept coming back to me with several revisions because I thought they kept missing the mark.  I softened the blow by saying while there was nothing really wrong with what they wrote, I explained that it didn’t feel authentic… it seemed forced and not like it came organically from the writer.  Rather than writing a heartfelt narrative that taught us about who they are as a person, the piece read more like a résumé in scrawling prose form.

Good writing sessions are almost like therapy; you need to find out what they are really trying to say, and get them to realize it on paper.  When I started prodding a bit, the word fear came out of the person’s mouth.  When I asked what they meant by that the response was, “I am afraid of sounding too boastful.”

That was the light bulb moment.

If you list all the things you accomplish in life, then yes; that is boastful.  But if you are celebrating the great qualities that make you special, then that is called self esteem.

I could easily list all the things I did so far in my life: singing professionally with a jazz group; going storm chasing; winning first prizes in road races for my age category;  having a completely unmedicated childbirth for my son…  Now that starts to sound like I’m bragging.

But if I say I am very emotional in my song interpretation, I have an adventurous spirit, I value making healthy choices through exercise and a natural lifestyle, then I am sharing with you what makes me unique.

I thought it was important to make this distinction right after yesterday’s post about making a 153Promise through instilling a healthy self concept with your children by modeling it with yourself.  There is nothing wrong with loving yourself for who you are… just not for all the things you did.  Overvaluing accomplishments is like white-knuckling your self concept.  If you have to cling onto some list of moments, then you are actually being very insecure.  True inner peace and happiness comes from the ability to shine your inner light for all to see… even if they have no idea what you’ve done.

I don’t get into religion very much on here, but I felt it in my heart to quote a very popular verse.  It says in the Bible in 1 Corrinthians 13 4-5 that love is not boastful and keeps no record of wrongdoing.  Therefore, if you are truly filling your heart with love, it cannot possibly be boastful.  It’s also underscoring that love does not come from a tally of actions.

So praise yourself — and your children — for all the qualities  you and they possess; not for all the things in a record of accomplishments.  Otherwise, the love starts feeling conditional… nobody wants to feel loved for the growing list of things they did.

Instead of giving praise for making the Honor Roll or scoring the winning point of a game or cleaning their room, acknowledge their hard work, their courage and their integrity.  That’s true love without an attachment or condition.  And when they fall short, don’t shame them… use it as an opportunity to explore what happened inside themselves and how they can learn and grow for future success… and do the same thing with yourself.

Make the 153Promise of nurturing a healthy self esteem without the fear of being boastful.