Tag: homework

Keep Calm and Learn On! 3 Changes To Bring Back the Love of Learning

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Love, Parenting, SchoolLeave a comment
Girl Studying
What’s it all for???

It may sound obvious that school is for learning, but I think we sometimes get caught up in the grades that people lose sight of that fact.  Students are so concerned about getting the GRADES that they forget to actually pay attention to concepts that are being taught in class.  Where does that come from?

Parents- are you responsible for emphasizing grades over an education?  Are you inadvertently stressing your kids out by expecting As over progress?    Research shows that anxiety leads to forgetfulness.  Chances are, the more you get your kids stressed over school and grades, paradoxically, the less they will learn.

Here are three changes you can make to help your students stress less and enjoy school more.

3. Stop checking grades so often.  If you are the type of parent who signs up to get notifications every time a teacher enters a new grade, stop that service.  Remember my posts about kids and cell phones?  The same holds true for you.  Do not check your phone every day for updates on your kids’ grades.  Otherwise, they will be doing the same thing so you don’t know their grades before they do.  Instead, every other week should be enough.  That’s about 4 times a marking period.  And only do that so you’re not twisting in the wind.  Don’t pounce on them for an 82.  Life will go on and when you are a grand parent one day, you will not remember that 82 in Math.  But you will benefit from the supportive (not stressful!) relationship you cultivated with your child.

2. Stop asking about how they did in school.  I have VERY bad memories of the dinner table with my family when I was a kid- mainly, because they would use that time as a debriefing on the status of my upcoming report card.  That’s probably the reason I had developed gastritis as a teenager.  Instead, say to them, “Tell me three things you learned in school today.”  At first, they may say, “Nothing.”  But if you help them by asking them, “Well, what about science?  What are you learning about?  Animals?  The weather…” they will start to open up.  It may take some time, but if they see that this new change is NOT going to go away, they may start to give you answers faster- if only to get it over with!  Reward them with what YOU learned that day, as well.

1. Stop helping them to study.  Yes, that’s right.  If you are going over the study guide for tomorrow’s test, you are now becoming the Gestapo and it’s not going to be a fun experience.  Instead, come to them when the stakes are NOT high- like when they are reading a chapter of the novel for English, or doing a current events article in History.  Actually show an interest in what they thing about the subject.  That way, they will see that you really care about them and what they think about the world- not just a number at the top of a paper.

Make the #153Promise to remind your children that they mean more to you than a GPA.

-Kisses!  XxXx

 

Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, Relationships, School2 Comments

Sad, Learning, School, Reading, Challenging

The last hour of the Stress Workshop I attended was supposed to be a Q and A about how to best address stress with you children once it rears its ugly head.  I was looking forward to learning some tips and maybe even some proactive strategies.  It didn’t happen.

Instead, these were some of the questions that parents asked:

  • How can I get my kid to hand in her homework?
  • Why won’t my kid do his homework?
  • How can I get my kids to listen to me?
  • Why won’t my kid do his chores?

You see the pattern?  These weren’t actual open ended questions about how to HELP their kids; these were actually complaints disguised as questions.

Continue reading “Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole” →

Kids and Stress? The Joke’s on You…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Parenting, SchoolLeave a comment

Business, Career, Depressed, Employee, ExhaustedI attended a workshop sponsored by our school district last Wednesday.  It was run by a middle school guidance counselor, and the speaker was a local psychiatrist.  You can read about his profile here.

It was meant for parents, but I attended as both a mother AND a teacher in the district.

We are a large, suburban school district in a town that holds the county seat.  We are predominantly White, with a growing population of Asian and Indian, some Black and finally a Latino/ELL population.  We are not without our challenges, but all press and data indicates that we are among the strongest in the state and nation.

The topic was supposed to be about stress of your children and how to help them, but what actually unfolded (from my perspective, anyway) was chilling.  By the end of the week, I’ll have explained what I mean, so be sure to keep coming back every day!

Many times, these events are preaching to the choir: those who attended are the parents who are already doing the right thing because they attend workshops about parenting.  But this time, all the right people were in the seats… but for all the wrong reasons.  And I fear that the message somehow got lost.  This is not to discredit the speaker, however.  I think as the evening progressed, both he and I realized that the focus of the night was shifting and there was not much to be done about it… except to maybe hold another night dedicated to that same topic of stress.

It was only 1.5 hours.  The first half an hour was dedicated to speaker, presenting on:

  • What is Stress?
  • When/Where does it happen?
  • Why does it happen?
  • What can we do about it?

From there, it was to open up as a discussion/Q and A period, where people could write questions on note cards and receive advice to best help their children deal with stressors in their lives… that’s when it got really interesting.

The GC (guidance counselor) did mention that this was intended to be the first in a series of talks, so there is some hope that the same crowd will come back… and when I say “crowd,” I mean about 250 people in a small administration room.  And I don’t even think it was publicized that much; I’m sure if there was another night with more advertising, we could easily move the venue to one of the middle schools and fill at least half of the auditorium.

In fact, that reminds me- I need to write to the GC about that prospect…   (I actually taught in her building for 13 years, so we have a rapport.)

As I said, I had attended as both a parent AND a teacher.  But in all honesty, I also attended as my blogging/writing self since I had planned to write about the night on this #153Promise site.  I had managed to speak with him for a minute or two after the engagement, exchange cards, and even get a promotional picture.  It was important to me to get his permission to write about the workshop, and he was very nice.

So make it the #153Promise to come back every day this week to find out what I learned about stress and your children.  You’ll be surprised to know that the audience taught me a lot more than the psychologist…