I got my first dissenting comment on Saturday! Someone disagreed with my perspective that the more a kids protests about something, the more we may need to have them do it… specifically with regards to my “Bus Challenge” post.
The opposing viewpoint was that we should parent from the perspective of the child… Would *I* want to stand in the rain and wait for a bus full of screaming kids to come? Who wouldn’t prefer a cozy, personal ride to school??? I totally understand that perspective. However, I do not think that empathizing with our children should be the basis for our parenting.
The Golden Rule, Treat others how we would want to be treated may work for equals, but I think it’s a mistake to make our parenting decisions using this mentality. Yes, we do want to keep in mind our children’s feelings when choosing our words or even some of our actions, but just because a child does or doesn’t want to do something doesn’t mean that we should cater to those wishes. That, to me, is a recipe for raising an entitled little person… which will then become an entitled big person, aka, Jerk.
I propose that sometimes, your 153Promise can be saying “NO” to your child or pushing him or her to confront difficult situations, knowing you’ll be there to support them… instead of preventing those learning opportunities altogether.
Rather, I think the Golden Rule of Parenting should be, Parent the Child Today for the Generation of Tomorrow. After all, they will be the ones to run the country when we are in rocking chairs. Do we want a bunch of coddled, spoiled, unbending adults who never learned how to negotiate tough times, improvise another alternative, or work hard to get something for delayed gratification?
My position is: Sometimes, saying NO for NO’s sake is good.
Check out what pediatrician Dr. Leonard Sax has to say regarding the topic.
I welcome differences of opinion and I thank the writer of the Saturday, January 9th comment. It challenges and inspires me to continue to refine my 153Promise mission.
Rather than trying to prevent rain from falling, make the 153Promise to either dry them off when they get wet… or teach them to bring an umbrella.
Kisses! XxXx
If your kids went back to school today, what was the scene? Was it calm and relaxed, or was there a bunch of yelling, scrambling and stress? What did they eat for breakfast? DID they eat breakfast? What’s on the schedule for after school? When did they go to bed last night, and what time to they plan to go to bed tonight? What’s for dinner? Is there a plan to all sit down together, or is it catch as catch can?
A "Trauma-Free Parenting" Initiative 