5 Things No Responsible Parent Will Allow Their Child To Do

No, this isn’t some quirky post where I twist the title around… I really mean that no parent in their right mind should allow the following five activities.  The stakes are just too great.

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  1.  Violent Video Games.  At.  All.  (Applies more to boys.)  The effects of these games are just too great.  They are linked to violence in real life and predict criminal activity in the future.  They actually develop part of the brain that creates aggression and rewards distractibility and risk-taking behavior.  And thanks to this supreme court ruling, kids can buy all video games rated “M” for mature.Iphone, Template, Mockup, Mock-Up
  2. Be On Social Media.  (Applies more to girls.)  Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and whatever newest thing to come along will only cause anxiety in teens.  FOMO (fear of missing out) creates major stress if their post does not get enough “likes.”  They obsess.  They hatch plans, post, and check back.  It’s just not healthy.  If you ban all social media, your teen will NOT be ostracized; they’ll just be known as the, “kid with the weird parent.”  And all other teens will secretly wish their parent cared that much to remove that pressure from their lives.  Think you’ve taken care of that by installing spyware or some other app on their phone?  Think again.  There are sites like this one that kids can look up.  Bed Linen, Awake, Crumpled, Sheets
  3. Take Their Phone To Bed.  I’ve already written about this here, but it bears repeating.  If your child takes their phone to bed, they  will NOT be sleeping; they’ll be responding to texts.  Make them give it to you when they go to bed… at a reasonable time.Supermarket, Cola, Soft Drink, Soda
  4. Eat/Drink Anything With HFCS.  High fructose corn syrup is just plain evil.  It is not recognized by the body as food, spikes blood sugar levels- casing crashes, and leads to health complications like diabetes and obesity.  If kids are drinking soda, eating processed snacks or downing PB&J, they are going to be functioning on a roller-coaster in their body.  Go through your pantry and fridge; read the labels; purge.  Then start putting only healthy items in your cart at the grocery store.Stairs, Shopping Mall, Shop, Shopping
  5. Be Unattended With Kids’ Parents You Don’t Know.  This includes things like sleepovers, parties, and going to the mall.  There’s just no way to monitor what the OTHER kids are doing because you have no idea… like violating all five of the above rules, for example…  One way to still let them have fun is to be the host and carefully screen the list of invites and reach out to parents of those kids.

So how to enforce these rules?  Tell your kids that you love them and want what’s best for them.  Let them get upset- especially if these rules are coming from out of the blue.  They may pitch a fit, whine, cry, “hate you,” roll their eyes, or give you the silent treatment… or a combination.  Don’t cave in.  Ride the storm.  Eventually, they will calm down.

Consider giving them something they’ve been wanting for a long time that’s a healthy alternative to soften the blow- take them to that place they’ve been wanting to go or get them that overpriced clothing item for being such a good sport.

And just remind them that there’s a difference between a “NEED” and a “WANT.”

You’re the parent; only YOU can be their protector.  Make the #153Promise to be the responsible one!!!

Kisses!  XxXx

*Thank you to Dr. Leonard Sax for his talk last Sunday for emphasizing the importance of some of these issues!

 

 

Journal Update, 2.26.16

Hop over to my Journal to read about developments of “One Million Kisses,” my children’s book that was the inspiration for #153Promise.

In it, I update about my social media, products, the progress with my publisher and my general stress of launching a book.

I have a busy weekend with BOTH of my children being in the winter gymnastics show.  This will be the third on for my daughter (she turns 10.5 on Monday- yes leap day!) and my son’s first (at 3.5, he’s finally old enough to be in the Y program).

In my “spare time,” I’ll be working on posts all for next week.  They will all be outlining the highlights of the “Stress Workshop for Parents” I attended this past Wednesday.  It was very… interesting.  Stay tuned!

And in case you missed my logo when I pushed it out, here it is:

153PRMSINSTTT

Have a Happy Friday!

-Kisses! XxXx

 

Moms: Please Stop “Wining” About Your Kids On Social Media

I used to drink, but I stopped when I got pregnant with my son.  I haven’t touched it since.

Maybe an ex-drinker is the worst when it comes to vocalizing the evil of alcohol consumption, but I’ve got to say, it really rubs me the wrong way when I see THIS on my FB wall:

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I’m sorry, but I just don’t think it’s funny that we as a society normalize drinking in excess:

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Sometimes, people even rope the kids into it:

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I’m not saying my post is going to get people saying, “She’s right… from now on, no more alcohol.”  But please think about the message you are putting out there when you it comes to your behavior.

Do you want your kids to grow up thinking it’s funny to drink too much?  That parenting requires an addiction?  That their existence drives you to inebriate yourself?

Tipsy parents are not present parents.  Hungover parents are not fun parents.  If you are that stressed that you feel the need or entitlement to bask in the grape, maybe it’s time to simplify your life.

At the very least, make the #153Promise to do a little introspection regarding your daily habits and how they are represented to other people, most of all, your children.

-Kisses!

 

 

Social Media is “S & M”

woman-929838_1920Twitter; Instagram; Snapchat; Facebook…  these are the new ways to forge relationships, “Like” it, or not.

I find people’s behaviors on social media very interesting.  It’s like of like being drunk: it’s an altered state.  People post things to their “Friends” and make comments they would NEVER do in “real” life.  It begs the question- do people’s real hidden sides come out on the internet, or is there something essentially nefarious about screen interactions?

I’ve seen people who are normally very decorous give raunchy memes the “thumbs up.”  Closeted bigots post anti-fill-in-the-blank comments.  People go on rants about other people and things get shared, amplified and eventually feelings get hurt and real-life friends or relatives get blocked or “un-friended.”

It’s no coincidence to me that social media has “S” and “M” as its initials.  There’s a certain sadistic pleasure some people get from updating a status that will irk others.  And I can’t tell you how many times I read or hear about people’s feelings getting hurt because they were excluded from whatever online group membership they belong… yet they continue to engage in the drama, as if they get some sort or masochistic rush.

In that sense, I don’t see adults being any more mature than their teenage counterparts.

Kids learn what they see.  What kinds of real messages about relationships are you sending by the ones you post online?

Make it the #153Promise to model Sensitivity and Moderation with your social media.

To Hash or Not to Hash? Logo Dilemmas…

 

153PRMSINSTTT

The logo for 153Promise is finally here!  My sweet, supportive husband pulled a few strings and got a professional graphic designer to mock up a few logos based upon a few different images of a pinkie promise with the heart.  I wanted pink and blue to reflect babies, but not toooo babyish.  A pretty simple concept, I hope.

I had my students vote.  I analyzed trends and came back to the GD with a few tweaking requests and the above is the result.

I also want to add on shirts, magnets, bracelets, etc the “LOVE” anagram:

*L*isten *O*bserve *V*alidate *E*mpathize

(That was my ten year old daughter’s idea; I figure we can easily add that on our own.)

I was happy and excited… that lasted for about a day when I came downstairs this morning and started reading news feeds.  There was a story about the Oregon standoff.  That lead me to some anti-Islamic stories.  Which brought me to anti-Black stories.  Then I finally ended up onto the BlackLivesMatter website.

Hashtag, Hash, Tag, Social, Internet, Network, MediaI like their site.  I am inspired how they created a movement in a few short years- though I am saddened at the same time that it needs to exist.  But one thing confuses me… the elusive hash tag.

It’s not in their URL.  It’s not on their logo.  It’s not on other places on their website… But it IS on some of their headings, in some of the body copy, and on all off the pictures from people at rallies and other events.

So now I’m confused whether or not I should have put the “#” in my logo, in my posts, or what…

Social media is jammed up my brain.  In fact, that’s what I plan to write about tomorrow as I get back to my posts about making the 153Promise — or should that be the #153Promise — to your children to show them L.O.V.E. on a daily basis.  Stay on the lookout for my “Social Media is S & M” post for tomorrow.

IF you are reading this post, PLEASE comment on my question…

To Hash or Not to Hash?