Category: Uncategorized

To Hash or Not to Hash? Logo Dilemmas…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Organization and Business, politics, Uncategorized, Writing2 Comments

 

153PRMSINSTTT

The logo for 153Promise is finally here!  My sweet, supportive husband pulled a few strings and got a professional graphic designer to mock up a few logos based upon a few different images of a pinkie promise with the heart.  I wanted pink and blue to reflect babies, but not toooo babyish.  A pretty simple concept, I hope.

I had my students vote.  I analyzed trends and came back to the GD with a few tweaking requests and the above is the result.

I also want to add on shirts, magnets, bracelets, etc the “LOVE” anagram:

*L*isten *O*bserve *V*alidate *E*mpathize

(That was my ten year old daughter’s idea; I figure we can easily add that on our own.)

I was happy and excited… that lasted for about a day when I came downstairs this morning and started reading news feeds.  There was a story about the Oregon standoff.  That lead me to some anti-Islamic stories.  Which brought me to anti-Black stories.  Then I finally ended up onto the BlackLivesMatter website.

Hashtag, Hash, Tag, Social, Internet, Network, MediaI like their site.  I am inspired how they created a movement in a few short years- though I am saddened at the same time that it needs to exist.  But one thing confuses me… the elusive hash tag.

It’s not in their URL.  It’s not on their logo.  It’s not on other places on their website… But it IS on some of their headings, in some of the body copy, and on all off the pictures from people at rallies and other events.

So now I’m confused whether or not I should have put the “#” in my logo, in my posts, or what…

Social media is jammed up my brain.  In fact, that’s what I plan to write about tomorrow as I get back to my posts about making the 153Promise — or should that be the #153Promise — to your children to show them L.O.V.E. on a daily basis.  Stay on the lookout for my “Social Media is S & M” post for tomorrow.

IF you are reading this post, PLEASE comment on my question…

To Hash or Not to Hash?

 

 

 

Sanders Last Night

On By JenniferOzgurIn politics, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Media image for bernie sanders town hall from New York PostI watched last night’s Town Hall in Iowa and though I’m not going to pontificate about my own political views, I do want to make today’s post about what Bernie Sanders had to say regarding our current mental health care system because it specifically relates to my vision of 153Promise.

(Jump to 34:20.)

Just before that, he mentions his stance on gun control.

No matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican, I’d like to hear the opposing side of this issue- NOT making mental health care accessible to all, “when they need it- not two months from today.”

Photo from New York Post

 

 

 

Blizzard Test Post

On By JenniferOzgurIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

This is a test post while I use being snowed in as an excuse to revamp my site.

153Promise Action Plan

On By JenniferOzgurIn Organization and Business, Uncategorized, Writing5 Comments

Business Idea, Planning, Business PlanEventually, I hope to turn this post (which will be edited along the way) into buttons at the top of the site, so keep coming back.

My most recent research about where I want 153Promise to go revealed that I need to flesh out several elements.  First, there’s the dreamy/fun part.  I’m good at this stuff:

  1. A Premise (focus on the past and present)
  2. Core Beliefs and Values
  3. A Vision Statement (focus on the future)
  4. A Mission Statement (focus on the present)
  5. Goals (big picture and maybe not measurable… does not change and it tied to Vision and Mission… guides everyday decisions)
  6. Objectives (actions that are measurable to achieve the goal… may change in order to adjust… ARE the everyday decisions)

Then there’s the less fun/technical stuff:

  1. A Strategy (what to do)
  2. Tactics (how to do it)
  3. An Action Plan (the order in which to do it)

I found these buzz words everywhere on the internet.  Apparently, it’s common knowledge (or should be) in Fortune 500 companies and successful organizations around the world.  However, since there are TONS of articles and blog posts explaining the finer distinctions between all of these terms, I shouldn’t feel too bad.  In fact, I should be pretty darn tickled with myself that I’m even thinking about these issues going into trying to make 153Promise a success!

I did find one site, Innovation Excellence, that did an excellent job of stringing many of the words together:

“Values should underpin Vision, which dictates Mission, which determines Strategy, which surfaces Goals that frame Objectives, which in turn drives the Tactics that tell an organization what Resources, Infrastructure and Processes are needed to support a certainty of execution.” – (Mike Myatt, 1988)

For all of this, I’m really going to need some help.

I’ve already started making contacts and speaking to some people who are in the position to help me.  The most interesting discovery is that what I want to create — a resource for families to be proactive about mental health issues — does not really seem to exist… yet.

As it stands, it seem to me that there are many resources once a person is diagnosed with a mental illness, addiction, or in crisis.  There’s also many places to go if there’s financial burdens (social services) or groups to deal with surviving with loss.

But what about educating families so the above agencies are not stretched so thin so they can better use their resources?

Parachute, Training, ParachutingI’m not saying we can prevent ALL bad things from happening… life itself is risky.  But how about realizing that fact WAY in advance and start packing a parachute instead of hoping someone below will be holding a net to catch your fall?

I actually really like that analogy!  Every person has their own parachute, but the nets below are a catch-all for the masses.  I know I’m going to feel a lot more secure jumping if I know I had help packing my own safety device, rather than jumping and hoping that some random thing at the very end will be there to bail me out.

Back to my point- I think I can tackle the dreamy stuff this weekend.  The technical stuff?  Well, that’s where I will have to enlist the help of others who, quite frankly, know much more than me.  That means I’ll need to work on yet another element:

  1. A “Founder” of 153Promise– that’s me!  : DSinger, Frank Sinatra, 1947, Microphone
  2. Board of Directors- people who will help me with the major decisions that get a vote
  3. Advisory Board- people who are experts that offer an opinion that do not necessarily make executive decisions regarding to organization
  4. Executive Director- is that me?  SHOULD is be me? is that the head of the BOD?  Is that the same as the COB?  (Why am I getting visions of the Rat Pack and Frank Sinatra?)
  5. Chief Executive Officer- is the ECO the same as the ED?
  6. A Chief Financial Officer- I don’t pretend to know anything about finances, but I better be in-the-know regarding all figures, or I’ll get robbed blind… I’ve been in the restaurant business enough to know that!
  7. Trustees- essentially, the purse strings

I also realize I need to be smart right at the start… and although 153Promise is a “.com” for now (so I can sell my “One Million Kisses” book), should it be a non-profit?

Reason being, in all my internet surfing, I found this nightmare testimony  at blueavacado.org about a BOD firing its founder.  So I need to make sure I am always part of the voting and cannot be usurped, in addition to keeping in mind that there’s also financial issues to contend with.

Even though an organization may not be for profit, that certainly doesn’t mean that money isn’t important!

To quote my students… “So yeah…”  There’s a LOT I need to consider, and it seems like this is the perfect time… just when a logo makes is seem a whole lot more real… I better start thinking like it is.

(The Big Elephant in the room is when to start seeking out the advice of a lawyer?  That word has a negative connotation, but a good one certainly is an asset… but I don’t have the money for now… but if that’s the case, I may not be able to afford NOT to get one if I wait to later… thus a great catch 22.)

Hand, Keep, Head, Brain, Imitation

Right now, I’ve only got a bunch of dreams and a book coming out in several weeks (with no upfront cost to me).  But once I start selling books and both my publisher and I start making money (hopefully!) I’ll really need to start to consider what I’m doing since with money comes more options and responsibility.

So my biggest lesson thus far is no matter what you do, if it’s something new,  treat it like a business.

Kisses! XxXx

 

 

 

So, What’s This 153Promise, Anyway?

On By JenniferOzgurIn Uncategorized, WritingLeave a comment

UNSPECIFIED - JANUARY 01: Photo of Stevie Wonder

The drafts for the logos of 153Promise came to me this week.  I am very excited!  The logo gives me the ability to make items that help promote the site: car magnets, tee-shirts, and my favorite: silicon bracelets!  I want to be a walking billboard for the cause.

“They” say (whoever “they” is) that the more choices a person gets, the less happy.  I now see the truth in that statement.  My graphic designer came with over a dozen versions of a logo.  (Three major looks with slight variations thereof.)  I figured the best thing to do was to poll everybody I know to see which one gets the biggest thumbs up.

As I started to ask people which they preferred, I wound up having to tell them what 153Promise is all about.  I explain how 153 is the number of kisses a day required to literally kiss your child a million times from birth to 18.  I then mention how it’s all explained in my book “One Million Kisses.”  THEN I make the distinction that the book is “One Million Kisses;” the movement is 153Promise.

“So what’s the movement about?” people ask with genuine interest.

“It’s about making the promise to show love and validation on a daily basis to your children.  It’s about making the promise to contribute to their overall mental health in a positive way.”

Everybody thinks that’s great.  I mean, who would argue against that, right?  But right now, it’s just an abstract idea… and this blog.  But when it all comes down to it, what IS 153Promise: a charity? Organization?  Foundation?

That means I’ve got to get busy.  Once the walking billboard paraphernalia starts coming and it (hopefully!) starts driving traffic to this site, I need to have more of a PLAN for action… more than just BUY MY BOOK; READ MY BLOG; DO WHAT I SUGGEST.

I need a vision.  A mission statement.  Essentially, I need to set up a whole structure and framework so if I actually DO get followers, they know what to DO.

The book is supposed to be out in April.  It takes six weeks for it to be pressed once going to the printers.  Working that backward, I’ve got about THREE WEEKS to get 153Promise more clearly defined so I can put it in the front flap of “One Million Kisses.”

So that’s going to be my focus for the next few posts…  Stay tuned for more updates regarding the movement…

And to all my fellow east coasters… stay safe in the impending blizzard.

Kisses!  XxXx

(Stevie Wonder photo by Michael Ochs archives)

“A Long Line of… Xs and Ys?” Hereditary Vs Genetic

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, Relationships, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Poker, Playing, King, Ace, Game, Gambling, Card, HeartsIt takes a lot of introspection and a lot of ego-busting, but take a good, realistic, look at your kids.  What are they like?  Polite?  Kind?  Social?  Withdrawn?  Unruly?  Nasty?  Patient?  Short-tempered?  Flexible?  Anxious?

How did they get that way?  Most likely, it was from you.  Either from Nature (biologically) or Nurture (environmentally).  Sometimes, that line between the genes and the surroundings can get very perforated.

Many behaviors are hereditary… but that doesn’t mean it’s DNA related.  Let me explain…

First off, I must put a disclaimer: I am not a scientist.  But that does not mean what I am about to say is untrue.  In fact, I may be a very good person to be talking about the topic, since I can discuss it in very simple terms and not get too technical.  And if there are any scientists out there reading this post, by all means, back me up!

Some traits people have are genetic- passed down in DNA from the biological parents.  Babies are born that way.  Eye color, general body size, certain diseases or conditions like Downs Syndrome or cystic fibrosis… all these conditions are present at birth and are out of the person’s control.  A child adopted into a different family will not change the fate of these characteristics.

Then, there are certain traits that are fostered into a child: a good work ethic, cleanliness, organization skills… they can be taught.  Any skills that can be learned are usually not present at birth.  Granted, I am oversimplifying here.  But let’s use something like the model for a healthy relationship as an example.

People will tend to pick a potential partner for themselves that is a lot like the dynamics they witnessed growing up because that was the model shown to them.  Even though it may not be a good example, people become attracted to it because it feels like home.  I’ve mentioned before that my parents had a dysfunctional relationship.  As a result, I picked very bad people to get involved with up until I was about 36 (the magical number of years where a child has now spent just as much time away from their familial influence).

So if you identify patterns in your life that are not necessarily medically linked to your parents, look at the patterns in THEIR lives… then your grandparents’ lives…  Chances are, something was passed down from generation to generation that was not genetic, yet you inherited those traits.

College is another good example.  If your parents went to college, chances are, you will too.  And if you came from working class people, you most likely will go into the trade or family business or your parents.

But  there is no gene to my knowledge for picking a career or relationship.

Now that you can recognize that distinction, I think it’s important not to give too much credit to the gene pool.  Yes, you do get what you get by the roll of the Xs and Ys…  However, its crucial to admit that a lot of who we are is due to our environment.

True, science may have found certain genes LINKED to obesity or alcoholism.  However, look at the lifestyles the parents lead.  Parents who buy healthy food and model an active lifestyle usually do not have overweight kids.  I may have a gene linked to alcohol abuse, but if my parents never drank, that switch may never get turned on…  Conversely, I may have the intellectual potential to have a very high IQ, but if my parents never read to me or deprived me of stimulation at an early age, I will never fully reach my potential.

(I probably just stepped in it… right. about. now.)

My point is to be very careful how you view the mentality of “A chip off the old block” or “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  If it’s out of pride, then by all means, take credit that you’ve got a “Mini Me.”

But if you are under the illusion that your child is destined to suffer the same fate as you, make the 153Promise to challenge that view.  Is your child bad at math because of some genetic aversion to numbers, or did they pick it up because they asked you for help and you said, “I’ve never been good at it, either.”

Is your child fated to be anxious because you were diagnosed with a genetic disorder, or is it that they learned from you that the world is scary because you are anxious… and so was your mother or father…  Or maybe you yell at them a lot, so they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop… Or both.

Make the 153Promise to see what “long line of” whatever your family comes from, and examine WHY you think that is.  If in doubt, ask your family doctor and if they don’t know, ask them for the name of a geneticist to learn whether or not you can change your child’s pattern of behaviors.

Give your children every opportunity to succeed, regardless of their chromosomes.

You may not be able to control the cards they were dealt, but you can help them play their hand to the best of their advantage.  And if you were never taught those skills, seek out someone who knows better than you.  Go or your child’s guidance counselor or pediatrician for support.

What “Long Line” do you want your children to come from???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Journal Update!

On By JenniferOzgurIn Uncategorized, WritingLeave a comment

CLICK HERE to read about what’s been going on in my “One Million Kisses” journey!

What Kind of Mistakes Are You Willing to Stand By?

On By JenniferOzgurIn Parenting, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Drip, Milk, Pour, Liquid, FoodI’d like to build upon yesterday’s post about parenting styles.

It’s not as easy as checking one box and moving forward.  We are human beings, and we can’t be lumped into all one category- there’s bleed over from one style to another.

Similarly, there’s times in life where a person could actually benefit from an Authoritarian upbringing (military) or Permissive (artist).

And of course, we are all human, so we may try as hard as we can, but we’re bound to make mistakes.  Even the most balanced, kind-yet-firm Authoritative parent may have a short fuse one day, and snap.  They most likely will apologize to the child afterward, but what if that child’s memory bank stores THAT moment as one of the top moments in their recall?

Let’s face it: no matter how hard we try, we have to reconcile that when our kids grow up, they most likely will realize that our parenting played a crucial role in who they are.  And since nobody’s perfect, they also will most likely credit us with their shortcomings.

So the big question is: what mistakes are you willing to make?

We all know the saying, “There’s no use crying over spilt milk.”  Yes, it’s true that once a mistake is made, perseverating over the issue will not clean it up.  But first, you must acknowledge that there is a mess to clean up.  Then you grab a sponge and move forward.

Today, make the 153Promise to really take a good, long look at your children and how they are turning out.  Pay attention to how they react to a variety of circumstances and be really honest- do I stand by my kids’ behavior?  Are they are great example of my parenting so far?  Is there any “spilt milk” I need to clean up in my parenting?

Over the weekend, I plan to post about the role we play in our children’s personalities.

Kisses!  XxXx

 

 

Ghosts of Parenting Past and Present

On By JenniferOzgurIn Parenting, Uncategorized2 Comments

Aygul Barieva, Tatar, Artists, Family, Parents, ChildThere many ways to categorize the different parenting styles.  I remember learning about them back (many!) years ago when I was in college, taking my education and psychology courses.

Then I stumbled upon this article today and was surprised that the theory remains intact.

The four are:

  1. Authoritarian- they are the dictators.  “Because I said so!”  Think That 70’s Show.
  2. Authoritative- they rule with firm but kind hand.  “You broke the rules, so here are the consequences.”  Think Leave It To Beaver.
  3. Permissive- They are the best friend.  “Whatever you want, Honey Bunny.” Think Marge from The Simpsons
  4. Uninvolved- They are detached.  “*crickets chirping*”  Think Married with Children

NOTE: I am going to add a 5th… Overinvolved.  They are the helicopters.  “Because I said so.”  Only this is said to other ADULTS, rather than the child.  I don’t have an example from TV since it seems to be a fairly new phenomenon and I don’t watch television.

Can you guess which style is recommended by professionals?  (Answer at end of this post)

Ghosts, Gespenter, Spooky, Horror, Souls, CreepyMany times, we parent how we were parented.  It’s all we know.  But sometimes, we parent by doing the exact opposite of what we were given because it did not work for us as children, so we are actually reparenting our inner child, along with our current kids.  That’s not a great tactic.  It’s like your Ghost of (Your Nickname as a Kid) Past is hovering around your son or daughter.  Kinda creepy, huh?

Or, you may parent in the exact opposite of your partner.  Think Good Cop; Bad Cop.  Yes… you are actually using a strategy to get criminals to break.  Again, not the best way to roll.

I know I was raised with an Authoritarian father and a Permissive and Uninvolved mother.  It was not fun.  There were strict consequences for minor infractions from my dad with my mother trying to be the soft place to fall one my father was through.  It went into the realm of physical emotional abuse.  I’ve got CPTSD from my childhood.  As a result, I try not to be as “mean” and also try to be my children’s advocate.  But that also does not mean I overindulge or helicopter.  I try to find a balance.

My point to citing the article is to find out which parent you are and why to learn if you are on track for creating a well-adjusted child.  It can be insightful.

Make the 153Promise today by learning about your Ghosts of Parenting Past and Present so you can set up a great future for your children!

Kisses! XxXx

*#2!

Cell Phone Angst… and Challenge

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, Relationships, School, Uncategorized6 Comments

How old are your children?  When did they get — or do you plan to get them — cell phones?  Why?  Smartphone, Woman, Girl, Iphone, Apple Inc, Touch

I ask because I fail to see cell phones improving the quality of life in tweens and teens.  Rather, I only see anxiety and a giant paradox regarding cell phone communication: the more kids use their phones, the less connected they feel to the people with whom they are supposed to be communicating.

I’m going to put my Teacher Hat on for this post and speak from the perspective of the educator.  Here is what I am seeing during the school day:

  1. Texting each other the first and last few minutes of class.  About what, I can only guess, as I cannot legally go into their devices… (But YOU can… if you dare.)
  2. Taking “selfies” and/or “Snapchatting/Vining,” then obsessively checking to see how many “likes” they are getting.
  3. Increased requests to leave the class to “go to the bathroom” or “get a drink.”  Presumably to use their phones so they don’t get in trouble during class.  I can’t tell them no, but they are losing instruction time, as their trips are longer than necessary to sneak in a few more texts.
  4. More requests to text parents because they “forgot” something.  This irony is that the more they rely on texting parents, the less they need to communicate with their families BEFORE  and AFTER the school day is in session.
  5. Notifying me that they need to go to the office to pick up something… presumably because they just got a text saying their item from #4 was just dropped off.

(On my own time, I even saw a post on a Moms’ FB group asking what other mothers would do if they saw test answers on their kid’s phone!)

You may ask why I don’t just have a policy… I. DO.  So does the district.  But if/when I go to enforce it, I have been subject to major tantrums.  And this is not just from the students.  I have been accused of “stealing” property when I confiscate the cell phone, enforcing the policy, and then returning the phone at the end of the day.  I have been called a “train wreck” and was told that I “need mental help.”  There have been threats on my job and my life.  I have been the victim of theft to retaliate against me.  All because I have asked that phones are out of my classroom.  I have a thick skin, and administration supports me, so I just handle it like the strong human I am.  But what concerns me more are how the STUDENTS are actually suffering.

Some students are so dependent upon their phones that asking them to part with them for the 40 minutes I have them for class is almost impossible for them.  So I implore all parents…  Please do not contribute to the angst.  I am only asking for two things:

  1. Tell your kids that you do not want them using them during classes and if you get a report from their teacher that they were seen out, you will suspend them from their phone for a day… then week… then moth… then cancelled.
  2. Tell them that you will no longer be available to them DURING the school day. (Or if that’s not doable, at least only during their or your lunch for a one-time contact point to send or receive a communication.)  That means you’ll have to do a better job of planning rides, and they will not be able to have you run them forgotten items.
Portrait, Face, Pale, Expressive, Eyes, Nose, MouthBlame the teachers.  Blame your boss/job.  Or even tell them you are making the 153Promise to them that you want them to spend the school day concentrating on… school and not on social drama.  Explain to them that the more you rely on the cell phones, the more anxiety it actually causes because it’s no longer a communication device- it’s an enabling device that’s preventing them from developing good habits of planning, self-reliance, and security/trust among family members.
So I’m throwing out another challenge: enact the two rules above.  Just like the Bus Challenge, I am going to suggest that the more either you or your child balks at the “Phone Challenge,” the more you may need to add it to your lives.  I’d love to know who does it and how it goes!
Kisses!  XxXx