There many ways to categorize the different parenting styles. I remember learning about them back (many!) years ago when I was in college, taking my education and psychology courses.
Then I stumbled upon this article today and was surprised that the theory remains intact.
The four are:
- Authoritarian- they are the dictators. “Because I said so!” Think That 70’s Show.
- Authoritative- they rule with firm but kind hand. “You broke the rules, so here are the consequences.” Think Leave It To Beaver.
- Permissive- They are the best friend. “Whatever you want, Honey Bunny.” Think Marge from The Simpsons
- Uninvolved- They are detached. “*crickets chirping*” Think Married with Children
NOTE: I am going to add a 5th… Overinvolved. They are the helicopters. “Because I said so.” Only this is said to other ADULTS, rather than the child. I don’t have an example from TV since it seems to be a fairly new phenomenon and I don’t watch television.
Can you guess which style is recommended by professionals? (Answer at end of this post)
Many times, we parent how we were parented. It’s all we know. But sometimes, we parent by doing the exact opposite of what we were given because it did not work for us as children, so we are actually reparenting our inner child, along with our current kids. That’s not a great tactic. It’s like your Ghost of (Your Nickname as a Kid) Past is hovering around your son or daughter. Kinda creepy, huh?
Or, you may parent in the exact opposite of your partner. Think Good Cop; Bad Cop. Yes… you are actually using a strategy to get criminals to break. Again, not the best way to roll.
I know I was raised with an Authoritarian father and a Permissive and Uninvolved mother. It was not fun. There were strict consequences for minor infractions from my dad with my mother trying to be the soft place to fall one my father was through. It went into the realm of physical emotional abuse. I’ve got CPTSD from my childhood. As a result, I try not to be as “mean” and also try to be my children’s advocate. But that also does not mean I overindulge or helicopter. I try to find a balance.
My point to citing the article is to find out which parent you are and why to learn if you are on track for creating a well-adjusted child. It can be insightful.
Make the 153Promise today by learning about your Ghosts of Parenting Past and Present so you can set up a great future for your children!