Tag: Parenting

“Mom… I don’t feel good.” 5 Ways to Diagnose a Cold

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, SchoolLeave a comment

It’s 7.  You can’t get them out of bed.  They say they are sick.

Home sick from school

Here’s a Parent Proof Plan on how to decide whether or not your child is legitimately sick, or just has “Testitis,” a sudden case of dread due to an exam.

  1. Take their temperature… with you present.  We’ve all seen Ferris Buler’s Day Off.  You can put a thermometer on a light bulb.  CFLs?  You can rub it on sheets to make the heat from the friction raise the temperature.  How do I know?  I got the T-shirt.
  2. Ask to smell their breath if they said they puked.  Gross, yes.  But if you didn’t actually hear the heaves and/or they didn’t tell you ahead of time that they were going to throw up, I’d be suspect.  It’s not a fun time (remember college?), and they usually would call for you before.  So if they claim they hurled but they conveniently already finished and flushed, ask to get a whiff.
  3. Remind them that sleep deprivation is NOT an illness.  Yanking them out of bed when they are just too tired may be the repercussion they need to inspire them to get to bed earlier next time.  Allowing them to snooze for an hour only enables them to stay up later in the future.
  4. Tell them that if they can’t go to school, all other activities are cancelled until further notice.  No practice.  No play dates.  No video games.  Once they realize they’ll be under house arrest, they may feel cured in five minutes.
  5. Tell them that you are going to email all their teachers and will have them do a work-from-home session.  When they hear of this plan for their sick day, they may realize that it’ll be more hassle to stay home than to just buck up and make it in to pledge allegiance to their education.

Continue reading ““Mom… I don’t feel good.” 5 Ways to Diagnose a Cold” →

Be Their Universe…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Love, Relationships, Validation, WritingLeave a comment

Universe, Person, Silhouette, Star, Joy

You know the saying that if you put something out there into the universe, it will come back to you???  Well, I spoke on the phone to my publisher again last night.  I know, right???  (I will update the results of the conversation in tomorrow’s post.)

It’s all coming together… I can feel it…

Continue reading “Be Their Universe…” →

If We Judged Politicians by Their Parenting Skills…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Parenting, politics, UncategorizedLeave a comment

White House, Mansion, President, Home

If the President of the United States is the one in charge of our country, wouldn’t it make sense to see how good of a job they did being in charge of another human being?

What if we paid less attention to all of the back biting at the debate podiums and started paying attention to how their kids turned out?

I’d love to see the KIDS of the candidates be interviewed…  What are they doing now?  Who would refuse to speak?  Do they show signs of coaching?  How do they react to a curve-ball question?

So if this reaches anybody in the media, I pose this challenge: ask the candidates’ kids what their childhood was like and how they think this would translate into what kind of nation we would have if their dad (or mom!) were to become president.

Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, Relationships, School2 Comments

Sad, Learning, School, Reading, Challenging

The last hour of the Stress Workshop I attended was supposed to be a Q and A about how to best address stress with you children once it rears its ugly head.  I was looking forward to learning some tips and maybe even some proactive strategies.  It didn’t happen.

Instead, these were some of the questions that parents asked:

  • How can I get my kid to hand in her homework?
  • Why won’t my kid do his homework?
  • How can I get my kids to listen to me?
  • Why won’t my kid do his chores?

You see the pattern?  These weren’t actual open ended questions about how to HELP their kids; these were actually complaints disguised as questions.

Continue reading “Kids and Stress… Round Peg; Square Hole” →

Managing Stress: It’s a Continuum

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Parenting, SchoolLeave a comment

This is the third installment on my series of notes from the Stress Workshop I attended last week hosted by our school district…

Once the speaker, psychologist Lou Bevilacqua, defined stress and who gets it, he gave some basic tips on what to do.

Angry Man, Point, Finger, India, AngryFirst, he said the following strategies do NOT work:

  • yelling
  • threatening
  • shutting down
  • melting down
  • lecturing
  • bribing
  • blackmailing
  • nagging

and finally,

  • ignoring
  • invalidating

Continue reading “Managing Stress: It’s a Continuum” →

Defining Stress, Part Two: Finding Clarity

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, ParentingLeave a comment

Once the audience’s participation died down, Dr. Bevilacqua brought some clarity to the idea of stress- what it is, what causes it and who is prone to suffer from it.

First, he echoed that yes, there are many things that can trigger a reaction through the day.  But it morphs into “stress” by meeting several criteria:

  1. intensity
  2. duration
  3. affecting our ability to be productive

That means that while some things may cause discomfort at the moment, it may not actually develop into stress.
Panic, Shout, PeopleIs a trip to the dentist stressful, or just not enjoyable?  It becomes “stress” only if the effects of anticipating the visit are over a prolonged period of time and get in the way of other activities.

How about a child’s test?  If they are concerned about the test, study, get a little nervous right before, take it, and then go about the rest of the day, then it’s inaccurate to label it as “stress.”  But if they constantly worry about that class, get ‘sick’ in order to avoid taking the test and can’t go to rehearsal or practice for another activity due to that event, then yes… it’s stress.

Continue reading “Defining Stress, Part Two: Finding Clarity” →

Too Good to Wait to Share…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Love, Parenting, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Child, Father, The Son Of, Family, BoyI’m not a fan of reblogging, but I DO want to pass this post along.  It warms my heart to have a DAD writing about parenting- and specifically such a sensitive topic.

Thanks, dude!

Next week, I’ll be writing about the highlights of the stress workshop for parents I attended this past week.

-Kisses! XxXx

What You Kept Hearing as a Kid…

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, Love, Parenting, Relationships, ValidationLeave a comment

Close-Up, Communication, Deaf, EarPositive or not, what your parents said to you over and over when you were growing up has a lasting effect.

It becomes a mantra –consciously or otherwise — and will manifest in your own parenting if not acknowledged.

A little memory exercise to recall what you heard as a kid might create some awareness in what you say to your own children.

The ones I heard were:

  • Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about
  • Either put it away, or chuck it away
  • JENNIFER!!! (usually from another room, just before the you-know-what hit the fan)
  • If you hate me so much, then just divorce me (said by Mom to Dad after his criticism)
  • Jerk
  • Candy Ass
  • Lazy
  • You’ll never get into college and will wind up homeless

and then, the most confusing:

  • I love you/I’m sorry

I make it my #153Promise ever day to not belittle my children and/or send them mixed messages.  I love them.  I appreciate them.  I value them.  Love should not bring shame, fear or guilt.

Saint, Meditation, Yoga, Meditating

Please make it your #153Promise to examine the messages you send to you children.  Ask them what they hear you say a lot.  Make it during a calm time.  Make them feel safe with their response.

It may just open your eyes… and ears.

-Kisses! XxXx

Moms: Please Stop “Wining” About Your Kids On Social Media

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, ParentingLeave a comment

I used to drink, but I stopped when I got pregnant with my son.  I haven’t touched it since.

Maybe an ex-drinker is the worst when it comes to vocalizing the evil of alcohol consumption, but I’ve got to say, it really rubs me the wrong way when I see THIS on my FB wall:

Image result for wine mom meme

I’m sorry, but I just don’t think it’s funny that we as a society normalize drinking in excess:

Image result for wine mom meme

Sometimes, people even rope the kids into it:

Image result for wine meme                                 

I’m not saying my post is going to get people saying, “She’s right… from now on, no more alcohol.”  But please think about the message you are putting out there when you it comes to your behavior.

Do you want your kids to grow up thinking it’s funny to drink too much?  That parenting requires an addiction?  That their existence drives you to inebriate yourself?

Tipsy parents are not present parents.  Hungover parents are not fun parents.  If you are that stressed that you feel the need or entitlement to bask in the grape, maybe it’s time to simplify your life.

At the very least, make the #153Promise to do a little introspection regarding your daily habits and how they are represented to other people, most of all, your children.

-Kisses!

 

 

Be a Corn Flake!

On By JenniferOzgurIn Health, humor, Writing2 Comments

Okay, I’ll admit this is a stretch of a “post” (sorry Kellogg’s!), but I’m inspired to write about it, so I’m silencing my inner editor and rolling with it.

It was a glorious two-hour-delay this past Tuesday, thanks to a Presidential sleet storm.  I was able to get up with my 3 1/2 year old son and enjoy breakfast with him. When I asked him what he wanted to eat, he said,

“Chicken cereal!”

WHAT???

I looked at him with what must have been a strange look on my face, because he laughed and then pointed to the kitchen counter and said again,

“Chicken cereal!”

My gaze followed the direction of his index finger, and there it was:

Hero image

(picture: http://www.kelloggs.com/en_US/kellogg-s-corn-flakes-consumer-brand.html)

Cute, right?  But there’s (yet another) metaphor I discovered in this box of cereal.

The Kellogg brothers are steeped in some pretty wild history.  Long story short, they ran a sanitarium and created food items they believed controlled certain behaviors which contributed to poor mental health.

One day, they had an error with smashed wheat and flakes were born.  They tried with corn, and the sunny yellow cereal hatched forth.

They were sold at first to their former patients.  The brothers then had a nasty legal battle, the one got the rights to the flakes, added sugar (ironically) and made Kellogg’s Corn Flakes one of the best selling cereals of all time.

Where’re the lessons to be learned?

Cereal, Bowl, Milk, Breakfast, Meal

  1. Sometimes, good things can come from a mistake.
  2. Sometimes, you have to trust your gut and go on your own.
  3. Sometimes, wanting to help people with their mental health issues has its rewards.

They’re also comparatively low in sugar and can be used in a variety of ways.

Make the #153Promise to always see the world in a different, positive light- and remind your children of this approach, as well.  What a perfect time to remind yourself of this promise at breakfast- the most important meal of the day.

So put a box of the famous “Chicken Cereal” on the kitchen counter — whether or not you actually eat them — to serve as a reminder that sometimes, life can have some unexpected pleasant surprises.

-Kisses! XxXx