It’s 7. You can’t get them out of bed. They say they are sick.
Here’s a Parent Proof Plan on how to decide whether or not your child is legitimately sick, or just has “Testitis,” a sudden case of dread due to an exam.
- Take their temperature… with you present. We’ve all seen Ferris Buler’s Day Off. You can put a thermometer on a light bulb. CFLs? You can rub it on sheets to make the heat from the friction raise the temperature. How do I know? I got the T-shirt.
- Ask to smell their breath if they said they puked. Gross, yes. But if you didn’t actually hear the heaves and/or they didn’t tell you ahead of time that they were going to throw up, I’d be suspect. It’s not a fun time (remember college?), and they usually would call for you before. So if they claim they hurled but they conveniently already finished and flushed, ask to get a whiff.
- Remind them that sleep deprivation is NOT an illness. Yanking them out of bed when they are just too tired may be the repercussion they need to inspire them to get to bed earlier next time. Allowing them to snooze for an hour only enables them to stay up later in the future.
- Tell them that if they can’t go to school, all other activities are cancelled until further notice. No practice. No play dates. No video games. Once they realize they’ll be under house arrest, they may feel cured in five minutes.
- Tell them that you are going to email all their teachers and will have them do a work-from-home session. When they hear of this plan for their sick day, they may realize that it’ll be more hassle to stay home than to just buck up and make it in to pledge allegiance to their education.