Positive or not, what your parents said to you over and over when you were growing up has a lasting effect.

It becomes a mantra –consciously or otherwise — and will manifest in your own parenting if not acknowledged.

A little memory exercise to recall what you heard as a kid might create some awareness in what you say to your own children.

The ones I heard were:

• Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about
• Either put it away, or chuck it away
• JENNIFER!!! (usually from another room, just before the you-know-what hit the fan)
• If you hate me so much, then just divorce me (said by Mom to Dad after his criticism)
• Jerk
• Candy Ass
• Lazy
• You’ll never get into college and will wind up homeless

and then, the most confusing:

• I love you/I’m sorry

I make it my #153Promise ever day to not belittle my children and/or send them mixed messages.  I love them.  I appreciate them.  I value them.  Love should not bring shame, fear or guilt.

Please make it your #153Promise to examine the messages you send to you children.  Ask them what they hear you say a lot.  Make it during a calm time.  Make them feel safe with their response.

It may just open your eyes… and ears.

-Kisses! XxXx